Monday, February 09, 2009

A Secret - Creative Therapy

Whoo-doggy. I don't know why I even agreed to do an art piece about a secret. That means either admitting I have one and sharing it; or saying I don't and keeping my secrets hidden. It's a lose lose situation. I do think this Creative Therapy catalyst came at the right time for me. Isn't it wonderful/scary how that can happen? I was struggling with some issues last week. And somehow, all this came pouring out...

(This week's catalyst: 'Create art around a secret you’ve been keeping')

Fear. I don’t even like the word. If you knew my personality you wouldn’t think ‘there goes a fearful person.’ I like to be the strong one. When friends and family look at me I don’t think they see a crying sniveling fearful person balled up in a corner somewhere. But I feel that way inside sometimes. It’s my little secret, I think I keep it hidden pretty well. I usually get the better of these feelings but I don’t like having them at all. The ones that linger are the thoughts I can’t change. Things I have no control over. Maybe its a control issue. What if the plane crashes, the kids grow up to hate me, the boogie man gets me, what if I end up alone in my old age? These are things I can’t fix. I was expressing some of this fear to a
homeschool friend this week about teaching my kids. She is always good with the straight talk and positive attitude. She sent me this verse: God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7. Now I don’t know about the sound mind but the rest I think I can embrace. (To read journaling, click for closeup.)

Technique Highlight:This was a lesson in layering. Paint. Papers, stamps, more paint. I swiped paint on paper and then quickly pressed it to the background to give it more texture. Circles, cut out letters, lots of scribbling with my trusty drafting pencil. It’s supposed to look a little chaotic since that is how fear makes me feel.


Suzan Buckner said...

I feel the same way. If you saw me, you would think I was the strongest person in the world.(not physically--but just the way I present myself). I am not a crier, a whiner, but I feel exactly the same way a lot. Hugs! That's a good verse that your friend gave you.

trisha too said...

you have never once come off as a crier or a whiner, just so you know!

and you're talking to the Worst Case Scenario Mom here. the boys didn't go into a men's restroom alone until, gosh, couldn't even tell you, and even then I sometimes yelled in the door to check on them. I STILL keep major tabs on the 12 year old!! We tell the kids they can use the money for college or therapy, but we can't afford both, so choose wisely . . .

have been cleaning the art room.

do you feel my pain?

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