Let me tell you a little thing about God and people and the universe. HE KNOWS. He knows everything. He knows what you need, when you are down, what you are going through. He knew, before I even hit my breaking point this week that it was coming. He just sat back and watched me self destruct, trying to do everything on my own power and strength. And then, when I was done, he stepped in. He brought me a call from a long lost friend. He whispered in my DH's ear that I needed quiet time. He directed a friend to send me a package. She may not know it was him, but I do. He's helped me everyday this week with the down moments to take a deep breath and remember he's got me in the palm of his hand. He knows all the hairs on my head, and how many stars are in the sky.
This week I'm doing things that don't overwhelm me. If I feel like cleaning the basement (one of the things on my list because we're trying to move), I do that. When I get overwhelmed, I leave the basement and go to my art room or watch TV. I cleaned my art desk until it felt overwhelming and then I went to watch the kids do leaf prints out back. Nice relaxing. It's all a matter of balance. I think I felt I had this huge list of things I want to get done, need to get done and I wasn't doing ANY of them. None. Instead of doing some and putting some by the wayside, I was rejecting them all until the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. I can't be creative when my brain is filled with too much 'to-dos' and worrying about things I can't fix. I know this sounds trivial I'm sure but to me it was a big thing. I never get depressed.
Today has been a good day though. I went through 5 boxes in the basement, cleaned my art desk and finally finished a canvas (YES Rhonda, I did it!) Hallelujah. It's a start. I also ordered 4 birthday gifts and paid some bills online. The girls spent the day painting, doing schoolwork/math, listening to unabridged Charlie & the Chocolate Factory and laying and reading in the yard. Ahhh, I love spring days.
And just to share...
Remember my Paris Swap partner Angela from last month? Well, she took it upon herself to send me a lovely box of 'destash'. Extras to her were wonderful additions to me! Lots of beads, a bag of old ornament balls, shells, gorgeous fabric and so much more. She even threw in 3 containers of 35mm film. I was just at the store last night and dd wanted more film but I told her we couldn't get it this time. Trying to watch the pennies. She did a little happy dance and said she loved my friend! lol
My canvas: Yes, I finished one. 16x20". It took me awhile since I was so blocked this week. But I really like the finished look. Last weekend I went with mom and my sister in laws to breakfast and some boutique window shopping. Kind of a pre-mother's day outing. One store was amazing. Had all sorts of items made by local and other artists. One artist's work I couldn't quit staring at. He/she had collaged on a canvas, added sticks along the bottom, and had made a fabric canvas pocket with a wire wrapped hula girl inside. Then had wrapped black wire around the piece in large grid style. I loved it! It inspired the beginnings of this piece. This 'Revolve' canvas is a reminder to me. God & family are all that matters. It's not such a huge deal if I don't get the basement clean today or the dishes done or if I just read magazines instead of do art. My family needs me. They need me sane and happy and productive. Family is most important to me. There will be time and energy for everything I want/need to accomplish eventually.
Vintage images by: http://www.alteredpages.com